The celebration of Mother’s Day may be one of the toughest days to handle for anyone who has lost their mother – or a child. Whether you lost your mom recently or years ago, or you have experienced the death of a child, Mother’s Day can bring out a particularly deep side of grief. The unique bond between a mother and child can be so strong that it might seem only the two of them can truly comprehend how powerful it was – and will always be.
For Mothers Who Have Lost A Child
Losing a child is a unique loss because it is not one that anyone ever plans to experience. You expect to lose your mother one day; You never expect to lose your child. Mothers navigating the loss of a child should be especially gentle with themselves as they approach Mother’s Day. Connecting with who their child was in life can be very healing. If your child was a particularly giving person, perhaps take a food donation to a shelter, or make a donation in their name on that day. If your child was a physically active person, perhaps taking a walk or participating in a sporting event they enjoyed will help you feel connected. Reflect on who your child was in life and do something that honors those qualities.
How to Manage Mother’s Day When You Are Grieving
Talk With Someone – Share a story about your mom or your child with someone. Did they laugh a certain way? Did they have a favorite recipe? When we share our favorite moments, we keep their memory alive and let others know what our mom, daughter, or son were like.
Visit Their Grave or a Place with Positive Memories – Some people may find it very comforting to go to the gravesite, because it’s the one place they can talk freely with their loved one. Others will choose to visit a place that they associate with positive memories of their loved one such as a park or a beach or perhaps where their loved ones ashes were scattered.
Write a blog or a post – Some people find comfort in writing a blog as a note to ‘mom.’ Many create posts on their Facebook page about which words of motherly advice had an impact, or which childhood lessons they remember most fondly. For mothers who lose children, some find comfort by posting a message to their child about what their grief journey has been.
Do something in their honor – Whether it’s going to their favorite restaurant, park, or even starting some type of memorial fund or organization in their name, keeping their spirit alive can help with the grieving process. Many who grieve find solace in keeping their mother’s or child’s legacy alive through volunteer and community service efforts. Mother’s Day can bring on grief like no other day. But it can also bring back many memories of love and joy. Hold on to those moments. They are what will get you through the day and inspire you to live your life the way your mother, or child, would have wanted you to.
To join our Mother’s Support group at Spicer-Mullikin, please call us at 368-9500.