Thomas Merrill Bien
March 13, 1977 - February 10, 2024
Thomas Merrill Bien, known as “Tom” to his friends and family, passed away unexpectedly at his home in Newark, Delaware on the morning of February 10, 2024. Born on March 13, 1977 in Baltimore, Maryland to Barbara L. Merrill and Thomas A. Bien, Tom always strived to bring a smile to all of our faces – many times in the most goofy and corny ways. He wanted to make those closest to him proud of the man he was always striving to be. Tom was only 46 years of age.
Tom’s early years were spent in the company of his grandfather, John A. Merrill who predeceased him – a man he called “his first best friend”. Later, little sister, Michelle L. Bien would arrive. Sister and big brother would stand together and forge a bond that would last a lifetime through the good and bad. His favorite childhood memories included his mother jumping off of a dock to show Tom how to swim and his father laughing when Tom smudged sauce onto his father’s clean shirt after dinner – the one time his father managed to keep it clean. His sister?… Well… He quite enjoyed teasing her with mooning and farts as brothers often do…
As a graduate of Maryland High School, Tom attended West Virginia Tech where he forever became a brother of the Delta Chi Fraternity. He then spent some time as a commercial electrician and made the decision to switch careers right before taking his master electrician test. That choice led him to ITT Technical Institute where he studied Data Communication Systems Technology and proudly earned a Bachelor of Science Degree in 2011. His proudest career moments were carrying the status of Oracle employee and his more recent acceptance as a Systems Analyst for the IT HIMS team at Christiana Care. He enjoyed knowing his work really mattered in people’s lives and cared a great deal that his job was done well for those in his care.
In 2011, Tom was looking for a genuine partner and found one in Kathy on the dating site eHarmony where they quickly switched to interacting through the online game, World of Warcraft, with Tom visiting Newark, Delaware from Catonsville, Maryland nearly every weekend. In 2014, Tom and Kathy would surround themselves with loved ones as well as strangers, music, food and mead at the Maryland Renaissance Festival to be married. From their union, they nurtured a family in a little house that held all they needed, which included their beautiful sons, Conner and Collin, as well as two dogs, a rabbit, and two rats. Tom’s legacy is carried on through his family, whom he loved with everything he had, and he was loved with everything we had.
An avid fan of video games and science fiction, Tom’s hobbies reflected his love of technology, critical thinking, and the ability to escape reality to decompress. His multiplayer role-playing games and Star Wars fandom were not just pastimes but a means to connect to friends and those he loved. His children will cherish the memories of building their own custom characters and learning to use a computer gaming pad while sitting on their Daddy’s lap for years to come. Tom also enjoyed anime, watching the latest Marvel or Star Wars Universe release with Kathy, cheering on the Baltimore Ravens, swimming, storm watching, spicy foods and Kathy’s house famous breakfast sandwiches.
Predeceased by his grandparents John A. Merrill and Mary E. (Cowan) Merrill, Henry Bien Sr and Virginia M. (Foy) Bien, Tom’s memory is honored and kept alive by his loving wife, Kathy L. Bien and their children Conner and Collin Bien, faithful canines Rey and Cara, his mother Barbara L. Bien, father Thomas A. Bien and stepmother Trudy Bien, sister Michelle L. Bien as well as many friends and extended family members.
A celebration of Tom’s life will be held on March 16, 2024. Family & friends are invited to pay their respects and share memories at 316 Deerfield Rd, Newark, Delaware, 19713 at their leisure anytime from 10am to 6pm. Nearby Gauger-Cobbs Middle School is an option for parking if neighborhood side streets are not desirable.
Tom’s warmth and humor will be deeply missed by all who knew him. His was a life ended too soon, but it was a life well-lived.
Richard & Connie Fuhr
Our family is so saddened to hear about Tom passing. We’ve known him since he and our son were babies in the nursery at church. They attended preschool together and spent time together throughout their early years. This has been very hard for us to comprehend this loss. Much love to his family
Sandy MacKenzie
Dear Kathy & Sons
So very sorry for your loss
What a shock.
He was a good person.
May his memory be eternal
Love,
Sandy & Bill MacKenzie
Sandy and Bill MacKenzie
Susan Shiflett
My sincere condolences to Tom’s entire family, friends and all loved ones
David Pody
Kat, you are an artist with paints and clay and words and love for Tom and all your family. There are many people who love and care for you in this difficult time.
Rozzetta Delph
I don’t know Tom only what Michelle use to share about him at work. But the one thing I was very sure of was that he and her were very close. I’m saddened for all of you in your time of grief. I will be praying for all of you.
Robin Hoerl
I am really sorry to hear of the loss of your loved one. May your favorite memories carry you through this difficult time and may you feel the love of god to comfort you.
Frank Blahut
I remember Tom and his family at the Westview Swim Club. It was a slower and simpler life. He had many friends and will be missed by all. My condolences go our to his parents and family . He will be missed.
Gandalf Clarke
I recently had a dream where Tom and I were playing with G.I. Joes in the snow and when I woke up, I tried to friend him on Facebook. We used to go to his so apartment to do role play back in the early 2000s. Tom was a good guy and I am sad that we lost touch. I will miss you my friend
Ken Douglas
I’m sad to hear that Tom has died. He was my friend through middle school and high school. We also kept in touch during our college years. I’ll never forget his zany and unique sense of humor, and I’ll miss him.
Ellen Clarke
Hey Tom – you introduced me to so many friends. We had a blast doing role plays, running around outside, swimming and having epic parties. You rule the phrase, “Let me put it to you this way…” You made us all laugh constantly. Thank you for sharing your life with us xo
Liz Ruifrok
I can’t believe it. It feels like ages since I have seen him. We played in gaming groups together and knew eachother in college. I remembered he used to say he was afraid of shorter people like me because he was so tall that he didn’t always notice us. My heart breaks for his family.
Rob Jenkins
Im sorry for your loss. I met Tom a long time ago in childhood and later got to know him through gaming.
Kathie and Bruce Smith
Bobbie, Michelle, Kathy, Connor, and Collin… our hearts go out to you upon hearing this sudden, sad news. Our families shared many experiences at Bethany United Methodist Church and were also connected in the Howard County schools. Tom and our son, Kevin, were the same age. Tom was always such a kind, caring person and fun to be around. He loved to tease Michelle. May you all feel God’s love and comfort during the days ahead.
Gail Lurie
My sincere condolences to the Bien family. I’ll always remember all the Micros/Oracle days from way back in the day, the inside jokes and countless gifs and memes that were sent back and forth. Rest in Peace Tom.